Kajol, the celebrated Bollywood actress and mother of two, has recently opened up about the enduring "mom guilt" she experiences as a working parent. In a candid interview, she reflected on the challenges of balancing her career with raising her daughter, Nysa, and son, Yug, and how that guilt is a "forever deal".
Kajol married actor Ajay Devgn in 1999. The couple welcomed Nysa in 2003 and Yug in 2010. Kajol's statements echo the sentiments of many working mothers who grapple with the feeling that they are not doing enough, either at work or at home. She highlighted how societal expectations often place the primary responsibility of childcare on mothers, leading to feelings of guilt when they pursue their careers.
“If you are discussing the guilt, that is going to be there forever. You are never getting rid of it. If you do get rid of it, your children will habitually remind you". Kajol humorously shared that even if a mother manages to overcome her guilt, her children will likely remind her that other mothers are home, waiting for them, and making rotis.
Kajol also spoke about her own mother, veteran actress Tanuja, and how she observed her mother's demanding work schedule while growing up. She recalled Tanuja working 20-hour shifts, which initially made her determined to have a more balanced "9-to-6" job. Kajol remembers her mother struggling with balancing work and family life. She recounts telling her mother that she would never work like her because of the terrible working hours. She wanted a job where she would get a paycheck at the end of the month. Kajol credits Tanuja for supporting her decisions. She recalls her mother telling her to take responsibility for her own decisions.
Despite her initial reservations, Kajol acknowledges that her mother's work ethic and independence also instilled valuable lessons. Kajol is making sure she is raising her son right. She told her son that work is work and she has to go to work just like he has to go to school. She believes that by teaching this to her son, he will grow up to respect his girlfriend and wife's career.
The actress also revealed an incident that changed her habit of yelling at her kids. She shared, "I was firing Nysa for not sitting with us. There was a Mata Ki Chowki at home and I was like, 'Nysa, come and sit with us. We are sitting here, why are you sitting at the table?' She said, 'Mumma, I really don’t want to.' I really got angry and I said, 'Come here and sit down!' So after she came, sat and left, my son turned around, sat in my lap quietly and told me, 'You know, mom, you shouldn’t fire her for telling the truth'".
Kajol emphasizes the importance of open communication and honesty in her relationship with her children. While Nysa is proud of her mother, she also expresses disappointment when Kajol's schedule interferes with their time together. Kajol shared that her daughter would say "Mom, I am coming back for 5 days and you don't have time for me". To which Kajol would reply, "Baby, I am shooting. You are not supposed to come back for these 5 days. Otherwise, I would have taken that time off".
Kajol believes that the guilt will always be there in different ways. Despite the challenges and guilt, Kajol has successfully balanced her career and motherhood, setting an example for her children.
